Martin Luthers fear of God

As I mentioned, about a week or so ago I finished reading a book about Martin Luther (“Here I Stand” by Roland H. Bainton, co. 1978), which I thoroughly enjoyed. This is really the first that I have read about Luther, so I can’t really critique his opinions of him, although I was happy that he included so much of Martin Luther’s own writing and correspondence (it seems a lot has survived!). Anyway, a constant theme for Martin Luther during his life was his fear of God. I mean that both the sense of reverence, and in the actual sense of “fear”. According to Bainton’s book, he was troubled almost his entire life, but mostly early on, especially in the monastery. It is exemplified when he is about to perform his first mass.
”At these words I was utterly stupefied and terror-stricken. I thought to myself, ‘with what tongue shall I address such Majesty, seeing that all men ought to tremble in the presence of even an earthly prince? Who am I, that I should lift up mine eyes or raise my hands to the divine Majesty? The angels surround him. At his nod the earth trembles. And shall I, a miserable little pygmy, say “I want this, I ask for that”? For I am dust and ashes and full of sin and I am speaking of the living, eternal, and the true God.”
This attitude is expressed over and over in the book. He took it to an almost absurd level when, while still in the monastery, he would confess “…frequently, often daily, and for as long as 6 hours on a single occasion.”! At one point, the individual to whom he was confessing (a priest and friend named Staupitz) exclaimed, “Look here…if you expect Christ to forgive you, come in with something to forgive –parricide, blasphemy, adultery—instead of all these peccadilloes.”
Luther’s “issues” became more and more troubling and debilitating until Staupitz eventually decided to make Luther take the position of “chair of Bible” at the university. This put Luther in an interesting position for one who was struggling as he was. “A young man on the verge of a nervous collapse over religious problems was to be commissioned as a teacher, preacher, and counselor to sick souls.”
It was from the study and expounding called for by this new position that Luther began to find some of the answers to his dilemmas, or at least the path’s to the answers (the development of Luther’s theology based on salvation through faith alone, and that even faith is a gift of God).
It is interesting to me that, even while in this state, he was almost always able to find confidence to stand firm on the convictions he gained about Christ, even at the point of death. The key was not that Luther found a confidence in him-self, but a confidence “outside” of himself.
This has been a theme that has been one my mind quite a lot of late. Many of those who are given as examples of “great” men and women of God, don’t see themselves as such, in fact, they just see they’re own unworthiness. This is very clear in the lives and writings of David and Paul. They were bold, yes and at times very confident of what they were about, and but they were bold and confident because they trusted in who God is and His greatness and sufficiency, not in the greatness or sufficiency of themselves. I’m just beginning to understand how important this type of humility is, and starting to wonder if we can really know God without first knowing how incredibly unworthy we are of Him. This shows His grace to us all the more amazing, and allows us to simply trust and have confidence and enjoy His greatness.
This is also scary, because my heart often does not feel the magnitude of who God is and my inadequacy before Him. It is my prayer that God will give me the grace to know this so that I can trust in Him at this level!